


Love (Hotel) Sick

by rowanthestrange_yugihell



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: But Not Actually Any Happening, Love Hotels, M/M, References to Sex, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:05:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanthestrange_yugihell/pseuds/rowanthestrange_yugihell
Summary: Inside a heavily soundproofed Love Hotel room, no-one can hear you scream (in disgust).





	

* * *

  


Seto Kaiba has never been this still. He doesn’t want to touch anything. He doesn’t want to look at anything. He’s not even sure he wants to breath. He’s just going to sleep, wake up, and then this will all be over.

“Not even going to take your clothes off?” Says Atem, brazenly stripping down to his underwear as if he’s not currently standing in a cesspit of disease.

“No.” He replies tersely. Closing his eyes as if that will somehow make Atem shut up.

“You’re still wearing your jacket, Seto.” Atem says, as if he’s being unreasonable.

He declines to respond.

“Fine, well I’m going to explore.” 

“No you aren’t!” He shouts, feigned sleep forgotten. He sits up and makes a grab for Atem, which he dodges.

“I’ve never been to a Love Hotel before, it’s an experience.” Atem says, dancing out of range.

“It’s disgusting, don’t touch anything, just come and lie down.” He snarls.

“Thought that was what you were complaining about everyone else doing.” Atem smirks at his own joke, and starts opening cupboards and drawers.

Seto flops back down on the pillow, attempting to return to his previous rule of disengagement. He’s only doing it for attention.

There’s a lump under his pillow - a bag of complimentary items. He frowns at the condoms, but is somewhat grateful that there’s at least a bit of common sense being employed; takes the eye mask as it will be useful if Atem really does refuse to sleep; then puzzles over the last, quite small, item for thirty seconds before it clicks (literally, shortly followed by a buzz) and he yells, flinging it across the room.

“I HATE THIS PLACE!” He shouts. Atem laughs at him and goes to collect the… object.

“‘Soundproofing’ means they can’t hear you, correct? Good thing too, I was hoping for a nice breakfast.”

“How could you _eat_ in a place like this?” He moans, shutting his eyes.

“I doubt there are any problems with the food,” Atem says, putting it in the side table drawer. 

“But best avoid the lettuce just to be safe.” He whispers in his ear. Seto tries to fight the heat rising in his face and pretend he has no idea what that means.

Atem chuckles again, but then drops the facade to ask a question.

“Did they really give you a free vibrator?” He asks confusedly. Seto’s eyes snap open and there’s a moment of eye-contact he really wishes he could take back. 

“First of all, they didn’t give _me_ anything,” Atem rolls his eyes.

“Second, how do you even know what that is?” Seto’s fairly certain that his adventures in Egyptology would’ve turned up some mention of battery operated sex toys had they existed.

Atem looks at him as if he’s being dense.

“I was here for quite some time - you may recall - sharing a body with someone else. Can’t remember his name-”

“Ugh, _Yugi_ …” He moans, covering his face with his hands. Now that image is never going to leave him.

“Oh yes, that’s it. Eventually one gets used to locking oneself in a mental room at night.”

“Shut. Up.” He says, looking at the grinning buffoon through the gaps in his fingers.

“Thank Ra for ‘soundproofing’.” He breaks and hits Atem with a pillow, while the idiot falls about laughing. Perhaps he might’ve cracked a smile too. Against his will.

Atem takes it from him, chucks it on the other side of the bed, grabs his hands and pulls him to his feet.

“Come on. It’s only sex.” Atem says, and Seto lets himself be led into the main room.

“Easy for you to say.” He grumbles, and Atem only shrugs in response. 

  


* * *

  


It’s not even that strange. Some seats he doesn’t want to sit on, a television undoubtedly full of pornography, a mini-fridge stuffed with alcohol. Some sort of magazine on the table.

“You find out what that is, I’ll find out what’s in this cupboard.” Atem claps him on the back as if this is some kind of fun adventure.

Disinclined to obey Atem at any time, he chooses to watch him disappear into a niche underneath a set of stairs. There’s a confused noise.

“Is it a dungeon?” He asks. No, given Yugi’s taste in outfits that probably wouldn’t be surprising to Atem at all, apparently.

“Lots of cuddly toys.” Atem replies, sounding slightly perturbed.

“Don’t touch anything!” He shouts again. He hates this place, he hates it, he hates it.

“Just a second.” After a minute or so of waiting, Atem returns, shaking his head like a cave-diver back in daylight.

“What were you doing?” Seto asks suspiciously, to which Atem gives him a look.

“If you must know, I was just making sure there were no Blue Eyes in need of rescuing. Satisfied?” He is actually. Stupidly, childishly so.

Atem leans over to look at the magazine and its girls, reading the kanji with a furrowed brow.

“Delivering health… You know usually it’s quite the opposite.”

“Stop talking." 

Atem huffs with laughter and skims the pages, stopping at one with costumes.

“You can order these and they’ll bring them to your door.”

“But we won’t.”

“You can get them _and_ there’s even a system so you don’t have to face them - they’ll just leave it outside.”

“But we won’t.”

“You can get one that’s you in a miniskirt.”

“But we- WHAT?!” Atem lets him snatch the thing out of his hands. Oh somebody’s getting sued for this. Lots of somebodies.

“It’s alright, this will cheer you up.” Atem says, and points to what is clearly a Yugi cosplay, complete with its own miniskirt and a rather shoddy wig.

“I spent _months_ on that.” He hisses.

“You did what now?”

“Nothing.”

  


* * *

  


The bathroom is actually fairly clean looking. The bath is sizeable, if not as big as the one he’s used to.

Neither of them feel like testing it, cleanly or not, though Atem finds some light-up, perfectly normal, almost weirdly non-sexual, rubber ducks that he becomes thoroughly entranced by.

Now thoroughly out of places to explore, they return to bed. Seto even concedes his boots, coat and belt. Nothing else though, the place is still disgusting.

“See that wasn’t so bad.”

“I want a full STD panel just from lying in this bed.”

“You’re _not_ in the bed though, you’re _on_ the bed.” Atem says dryly, shutting off the light.

Seto harrumphs. 

“So I’m guessing this would be a no to…”

“Absolutely not.”

“Fine.” Atem sighs dramatically. 

There’s a squeak like a dog toy. The room fills with flashing red, green and blue lights.

“Did you bring one of those damn ducks to bed?”

“At least I can share my Love Hotel room with _someone_ who appreciates me.”

  



End file.
